The Chicago Cubs are a professional baseball team. In the majors.
The best news for the Cubs on Friday was that Carlos Zambrano got hugged.
The best news for Cubs fans on Friday was that Jim Hendry knows they suck and has for quite some time.
The second best news for Cubs fans (and it was a hard-luck runner up) is that several teams (all of them in the NL West, for some reason) have interest in Ryan Theriot. Being on their team. I know, right?
The Cubs haven't won a World Series since the year the Baseball Writers Association of America was founded (1908). Think I'm jaded against the beat writers? Now you know why.
The Artist's Cafe on Michigan Ave. in Chicago has a Crispy Fried Chicken Platter that comes with french fries and onion rings.
The leading candidate in the 2011 managerial search is Gallagher.
This is the absolute worst time to trade Carlos Zambrano.
I like hearing all the trade rumors. It's like playing "let's pretend the Cubs have different players," but without having to watch them actually play.
Before you complain about paying over $250 so your family can watch the Cubs lose in person, consider that the Ricketts family paid $845 million.
I'm no fan of raging alcoholic rowdiness at Wrigley, but isn't curtailing alcohol sales to Cubs fans like taking away anesthesia during heart surgery?
Andrew Cashner needs to go back to the starting rotation. In Iowa. Right now. No offense.
The Cubs bullpen.
The Ted Lilly as Chuck Norris meme has this going for it: the Cubs are as unwatchable as any movie or television show starring Chuck Norris.
It's not all that much more fun writing about the Cubs than it is watching them. But I can't complain. I mean, I can complain about the Cubs, but I won't complain about writing about them because . . . well, because I'm lying. Complaining about the Cubs is a lot more fun than watching them lose.
If the worst of your problems is being a Cubs fan, you live a charmed existence.